I’ve been in Minnesota ever since the 15th. I won’t be coming back to Texas until the 1st. In the midst of all the travel, the anxiety over little things like meeting my love’s family and friends, and fitting myself into his world, there is love and tenderness and beauty. A sweet, warming balance to be found in the tangle of multiplicity.
I’ve made it my mission this trip to spoil my sweet elskede as far as my Sir-given budget allows. To improve where I can, and create good memories where I cannot. To make quality time, and to just SPEND time. To replace the worn out, to offer the never-had, and make a gift of my presence. In return, he’s been spoiling me as well. Allowing me in, opening his space and his life to me, inviting me deeper into his world. It’s been an awakening of sorts, and a homecoming as well. Where love is, I am Home.
Today, though, after two days riot and ramble in Minneapolis and a week of workdays and one sweet weekend… my beloved boyfriend is having a rough day at work. He can’t come home early of course, and I can’t really go to him either. So all I can do is prepare the way with dinner and a clean space, and wait to soothe and appreciate him when he comes home, because this is where I am present right now.
Meanwhile, back in Texas, Sir is having a good day. We teased and flirted as we do, my beautiful, ever-loving Sadist, and He asked me to be ready to prepare something for a Cultural Potluck at His work when I return home again. I made some suggestions, He made His pick of them, and so we are decided. But, at this distance and for another week away… I want to do something special for Him as well. And so He responded with love and pride when I told Him I wanted to spoil Him with something new He’s been wanting. Received my offer with joy and pleasure, and still. And still, He told me to go ahead and spoil my boy first instead of waiting for Him to choose.
Sweetness and happiness in my presence, anticipation and joy to come in my absence.
For all its complications and the snarl of its existence, my life has expanded, not contracted. I am so, so terribly blessed to have these men in my life. To be offered such precious delight in my presence after so many months apart, and delight and pleasure in my service…. even at a distance.
For all I sometimes feel as though I am caught between two sides of a dual nature, today I find myself in harmony and balance, and it is beautiful.
Blessed, and Twice-Blessed, and healing from the wounds of my past. Time, care, compassion, dedication, and service make it so.
Where there is Love, there I am Home.
Blessed Solstice, my friends.
House Of Crows 