In 2019 we grow from sex positivity to sex responsibility, meaning we:
- call out shitty people who are just abusers and using kink/polyamory to mask it and stop supporting them
- recognize that sometimes hypersexuality can be a form a self-harm for some people
- keep kinks and fetishes in appropriate spaces and not bringing them out into general public spaces and thereby involving people in scenes they aren’t consenting to
- understand that some fetishes are inherently unhealthy and some illegal to actually engage in for good reason and ignoring that is irresponsible at best
I have been screaming about this for a decade.
Are we finally there? ARE WE FINALLY THERE?
But we do all that while still respecting every adult’s right to make the final decisions for themselves regarding what kind of and how much sex to have, with whom, so long as their partner is a noncoerced consenting adult.
And we mind our own business about our squicks and dislikes, and keep our judgments about other people’s sex lives in perspective. By which I mean: if someone faps to a teenage anime character but does nothing to exploit or harm any real-life minors, or if someone engages in ageplay kink with people who are in fact consenting adults doing a roleplay, we leave them the heck alone even if we think that’s weird. And we remember that “pedophilia” and “child porn” are terms with fairly specific meanings involving actual harm being done to real, existing, living children and that watering those terms down by calling every age-gap ship we find squicky “pedophilic” and every fanart of a young or even young-looking character in a skimpy outfit “child porn”, is gonna do a heck of a lot more harm than good when it comes to solving the problem of real, living children being sexually exploited by predatory adults.
Furthermore we do not demean, belittle, criminalize, or otherwise act shitty toward sex workers. We do what we can to battle human trafficking and sexual slavery, and to make it so that no one is pressured, coerced, or forced into sex work by the threat of starvation and homelessness; but we do not make life harder and more dangerous for people who choose to do sex work whether they choose it for survival or practicality or enjoyment, nor for those who have been forced into it by direct threat of violence or harm; for the former are merely choosing to sell what is their own to do with as they please, and the latter are victims of abuse and exploitation who should not be further victimized with punishment for what they’ve been forced to do.
also, yanno, mind your business instead of sticking your nose where it doesn’t belong, kiddos.
By entering public spaces you are consenting to see legal behavior, regardless of your Personal Feels about it. You will see couples, triads, and polycules showing affection. Yes, that includes hand holding and kisses and publicly acceptable touch.
You will see gay, bi, pan, and other queer people showing affection for their partners, touching, hand holding, kisses, touch, just like literally everyone else.
You will see trans people existing, and going about their lives regardless of your approval.
You will see kinky people doing what they do, including wearing cuffs or collars, and sometimes even a leash~ Because guess what, it’s not illegal and it’s not, in fact, overtly sexual. (and the furries have been doing it since the 90s.)
You will see furries in ears, tails, or suits.You’ll see a lot of things that might squick you, or make you uncomfortable, but guess what? We’re people too, and we get to use public spaces just like anyone else without needing to censor ourselves beyond the limits of the law for your comfort.
As long as the genitalia is covered; unless we’re talking Folsom or Adult Beaches; and no one is dry humping in the produce aisle or attempting a full-on take down scene in a parking lot, mind your own damned business. Consenting adults will do as they please, and it’s hardly any business of yours what they get up to. It literally does not concern you.
So stop trying to police the behavior of others, and learn to find your zen.
What do being gay/bi/lesbian or being trans in public (aka things people are born with and cannot change) have to do with people being gross and wearing fetish shit in public.
Like one thing is to be a trans person publicly presenting and transitioning
Or to be gay and out with your significant other
Another is to literally be subjecting people to seeing you in a collar or your partner in a leash which is CLEARLY a fetish. Yeah, it may not be outward public indecency or obviously sexual, but to adults who see it we fucking know what it is and we KNOW you’re doing it for a sexual reason. Nobody decides to fucking wear kink shit in public for any other reason. And its fucking creepy because its a damn fetish and there literally could be children around, which could be harming to them. Like at least a furry in a fursuit is weird at most but its not some fetish ™ kink ass shit.
If anything dont fucking compare being gay or trans or even polyamorous to being a freak and forcing people who are minding their damn business to have to see your crusty ass kinks in public
You know why…? Because the crossover between those communities is massive. Because, time was, being kinky and gay sort of just went hand-in-hand since we were all social outcasts in the same “what we do is illegal” boat.
You know why…? Because people still equate them.
Because coming from the South where people think being gay is just another kink or sexual perversion and not a relationship model, and witnessing people losing their jobs, custody of their children, and their religious support groups for LITERALLY ALL OF THOSE THINGS means we need to normalize what is publicly acceptable before we’re ALL shoved back into the closet and legislated out of legal existence and our rights stripped away.
Being kinky isn’t something I can control either, just like my orientation and my gender. What revs your engine is a combination of a lot of things, and a lot of them are out of your control because they occur during your “sexual awakening” during puberty or as you start to explore your sexuality. Do all of them need to be front in center in the public eye? Of course not, but then I’m not lobbying for Sadists to be able to whip out the needles and fire wands in the middle of the Walmart, now am I? Of fucking course not~ (Those kinks are fairlu hazards and should be done in a sterile environment without flammable materials close by, medical equipment, blood borne pathogens training, and a fire blanket.)
But just having leather cuffs on? A collar? A leash attached to it…? That’s literally a fashion choice in the eyes of most, if an odd one. Particularly in the Alt community. Besides which, a “collar” can be just about anything. I know a few subs whose “collars” are just ordinary silver chains.
Point is, things exist that might make you uncomfortable. The fact that they make you uncomfortable does not mean that they should not exist; particularly when there’s no sex happening, indecent exposure, or any other sort of “Sexually Scarring” behavior ongoing.
FFS, a certain tone of voice is enough to get some people’s knickers in a twist. Are you going to tell them not to speak to their partner in public? Take a ruler and make sure no one’s hand is accidentally brushing the small of their back or their neck/shoulders since that’s an erogenous zone and oh dear, we wouldn’t want anyone experiencing a bit of racy excitement in PUBLIC now would we??
Seriously kid. Your puritanistic, overly-conservative thinking is indicative of some very dangerous logic. The world doesn’t need to conform to your standard, it needs to expand towards acceptance of others’ right to EXIST without self-censorship.














