Vienna says before every performance of this song that it was written by herself and a friend, and that she was drinking tea while she wrote her verse, and Paul Freeman was drinking alcohol; whiskey or bourbon; when he wrote his. She also points out just how apt that is for the song that follows… which is HEART WRENCHING in its lyricism and its portrayal of a strained romantic entanglement.

This is a song that many people think heralds someone on the verge of breakup or divorce. The wife in frustration snarking to herself about unending laundry, an absent partner, and how he always seems to know when she’s on the verge of giving up. The guy who “comes sweeping in with his long-stemmed bloom” and allows herself to be swept off her feet, even though she’s paying the price for the fantasy. (Got my full-price ticket to your fantasy show-) 

And oh gods have I been there!!

I’ve done the legal marriage thing. I’ve done the pissed-off domestic partner thing. I’ve done the homemaker and breadwinner thing both, and sometimes at the same time and I understand that frustration on a deep level. But… I also see a male partner who, despite his shortcomings and the frustration of the daily grind, refuses to let it end like that. So perhaps, not so very on the verge as first appears.

“I see a future in spite of the past.” “If you think I’m quitting, you’re shit out of luck!” And, the thing is, it’s not scanning as “we’re going to make it work because we got married and divorce isn’t an option don’t even say it,” but more what’s in the lyrics. “We built it, WE burnt it, I’m not giving up.”
It’s so difficult to acknowledge your own part in things when it goes wrong, especially when it would be easier to blame your partner. But there he is, acknowledging it. “Hey, we didn’t do what we said we were going to, and I’m owning my part, and I don’t want to just fold and walk away.” That’s… really bittersweet and DAMNED if it doesn’t make me nearly cry every damned time I hear it!

So there he is, wandering through the city, finding some space alone to think; “From the walls of the city, to the ends of the pier”; thinking about what his partner has told him about her frustration and the arguments they’ve had; “I still hear those words of yours, ring in my ear.” AND HE COMES TO THE CONCLUSION THAT, even though they are BOTH at fault; re: communication or frustration or whatever; HE isn’t giving up so easily. 

“The deafening silence of all our mistakes, These bruised but unbroken vows” He’s fucked up, and he knows he’s fucked up, but he hasn’t broken his promises just yet. They’ve both got sidetracked, and maybe haven’t done everything they SHOULD have, but he’s still here, and willing to try harder and do better if at all possible, and won’t she please let him try?

And then they’re singing together again, and just… omg it’s hOPEFUL and yeah maybe you can’t keep EVERY promise, but you can promise to TRY right??

“There’s so many words that should make us afraid
But we still say out loud-” And then they’re encouraging each other to “go on, make promises you can’t keep-” because they’re still there, and they’re willing to make them even if they know they can’t necessarily be kept. And then she’s singing HIS lyrics

“I see a future in spite of the past-” and it’s at once reminiscing AND moving forward, even as she admits again “Got my full-price ticket to your fantasy show” while he’s standing there singing his heart out to “go on and make promises.” 

This song, man. Hits me right in the heart like a kick to the ribs every fucking time. I’ve held onto relationships I shouldn’t have and asked for promises I KNEW were going to be broken and that I’d walk away. But… I’ve also COME BACK to relationships that broke through no fault of ours; except perhaps not fighting harder for each other; and yeah. Those were some bruised vows, but not UNBROKEN ones because were still there, and still willing to pick up where we left off and build it BETTER. And that… that means so much to me.