i hate reading this post for the sole reason that it made me realize against my will that kermit and miss piggy are literally mr. and mrs. bennet personified and this crossover would probably work
i am disturbed by how well this works
alright now i’m just pissed off because that fits even better
….eurgh
Apparently need to invest in idk energy drinks or something…. oh well.
mumblemumble self care and listen to the body blah
My favorite Ragnarok headcanon is that the entire movie is a story Thor is telling the audience. That’s why it opens with a monologue, that’s also the reason of the sudden tone shift into comedy and that’s why despite all the horrible things that happen, it’s so endlessly optimistic. The real events that transpired were probably very similar, just much, much darker.
This really explains so much, like how characters like Loki and Hulk, and Thor himself, are so different from the other films- because we’re seeing them through Thor’s eyes. The dialogue is different as well, much more casual and shorthand with use of slang in place of the typical Shakespearean lines, because Thor is paraphrasing in his retelling of the events. I like to imagine that Thor’s audience is actually the asgardians on the ark at the end of the film, mostly families and children, so he’s ramping up the goofiness and drama (you are now meeting the grandmaster, please dont cut my hair, get help), using childish humor (the naked hulk), and poking fun at everything (surtur’s big eyebrow). They were all just extremely traumatized, so Thor is taking care of his people in the only way he currently can- taking comedy theatre tips from loki.
Headcanon accept so much I’m probably gonna forget it’s not canon
so I’ve been in a relationship for 5 years now. And I see a lot of posts about how people think relationships mean having butterflies forever, your heart beating faster when they walk into a room, about cuddling together every night, legs intertwined, that you’d be so happy to live together you’d sleep on a double bed with each other every night.
And its not really like that, at least not to me.
You stop getting the butterflies when you live together. Your heart no longer speeds up when you see them, but instead, everything calms down. When youre in the room with them, you feel calm, and secure. When you cuddle them you feel your heart beat slow, and the sound of their breathing carry you towards comfort. It doesnt feel like a roller coaster anymore, it feels like home.
You don’t sleep curled up with each other every night, legs twisted between theirs so tight its hard to tell where yours begin and theirs end.
Instead, you sleep comfortably, side by side, sometimes facing different directions. But every night, you find yourself scooting backwards on the bed so you bump into them. You snuggle against their arm, or stroke their hair as they fall asleep. There are nights when my boyfriend, in his sleep, reaches around me and pulls me to him, like a child with his teddybear, like I am his comfort.
In the wee hours of the morning before the dawn breaks, when the world is blue and you see through cracked eyes, you curl into their chest and inhale their scent before drifting back to sleep.
Kisses aren’t always romantic and firey anymore. But there are so much more of them now. There are cold kisses when you’re eating ice cream in the summer, and sticky kisses over breakfast pancakes. There’s “im leaving now” kisses, and “one more kiss before you go” kisses. There’s sleepy morning kisses before work, when you don’t remember the alarm going off but instead the press of their lips against yours is what brings you into the day.
There’s kisses before sleep, and, you are so sweet with the things you do kisses. There’s kisses because you treat animals so tenderly, and I’m so glad i’m with you and not someone else kisses. There’s quick kisses in the aisles of the grocery store, when its loud and you gravitate together, when instead of having your own personal space and their own personal space, its both of yours together, and you step into their chest to take up less area together.
You don’t always text each other with confessions of love and care like you used to, because that’s a given now, and you’ve moved on to quirky inside jokes about the life youve built together. You share looks of exasperation and amusement in public, your own little world against the outside one.
Relationships aren’t always a fairy tale. They’re not always fireworks and sparks, at least, after the start.
But they are a quiet rhythm and hum of love and care. It’s not a fire in your soul, but one in your hearth, keeping you warm and comfortable, comforting you as you drowsily drift into sleep.
And I love that.
*SLAMS REBLOG BUTTON!!!*
Never read anything that has resounded so much with me
…remember how men get shamed for giving a damn about hygiene and personal care on anything more than a basic ‘not dying’ level because that’s a “gay” thing? Remember how “metrosexual” started as a contemptuous dig at men who gave a damn about personal care and only got adopted as a personal identifier after the fact?
Remember how men and AMAB people have a harder time getting away with gender non-conformity than AFAB people do, and even a slight violation of the rules can put you in a world of hurt?
…I was under the impression that it went a bit further than just “practicing normal hygiene and dressing nicely”.
“metro” dudes were the ones who used more hair and face products than at least half of the (femme-presenting) women you know, and not only ‘dressed nice’ like wore fashionable shirts and pants that went together, but paid attention to things like accessorizing. These dudes wore jewelry and Put Outfits Together, rather than just grabbing a pair of clean jeans or neutral-colored slacks and a t-shirt that A) came from an actual store and wasn’t a free handout at a job fair and B) has no holes or stains. These dudes went to hair salons and got haircuts that needed daily styling, added flair elements to their facial-hair choices, used hair dye and gel and tweezed their eyebrows, had multi-product skincare routines and not just “acne medication and shaving lather”, got manicures (the shape-and-buff kind, not necessarily polish, but still) and used cuticle oils.
They were presenting masculinely yet putting a level of effort into their personal grooming that’s generally expected of women and far beyond ‘the norm’ for heterosexual men, and being openly proud of the effort they put in. It wasn’t just about being clean and looking put-together, it was unashamedly caring about their appearance as much as society says women are “supposed” to.
And they got mocked for it and called gay, but refused to stop because they LIKED doing personal grooming that way, but also kept pointing out that they’re not actually gay and insisted on being called something else (because “gay” was inaccurate; I’m sure some had homophobic motivation for being upset at being called gay but having personally known several “metro” dudes both self-described and described as such by others… at least not all of them minded it beyond just the fact that it was an inaccurate assumption with the potential to lead to awkward misunderstandings).
if you’re a body shamer, SHUT YOUR DAMN MOUTH. idgaf if you have good intentions, it’s called being kind and respecting people’s decisions that only affect themselves
nonbinary friends can or can’t shave
genderfluid friends can or can’t shave
male friends can or can’t shave
female friends can or can’t shave
anyone can or can’t shave
its whatever they wanna do to THEMSELVES. not you
That’s fine, but don’t expect to get laid if you have big old bushes under your arms. Fucking disgusting.
This is what feminism has to offer to the world. Imagine a respectable, classy woman. Feminism aims to destroy that.
I mean, i stopped shaving my pits when i was 18 and i got laid all the time so… yeah. Sounds like you’re just missing out on sex bc of ur outdated misogynistic ideals of femininity
Armpit hair is a great misogynist repellent.
like out there is a woman who has never let her armpits get even a little bit fuzzy and i’m honestly really sad for her
If my body hair keeps people like that asshat upthread from hitting on me, mission fucking accomplished. I’ll go riding off into the night with my fuzzy girlfriend, merrily twirling my armpit hair like a cartoon villain because I got the better of straight dudes yet again.
sometimes i shave, sometimes i don’t, kinda like a guy would with his beard. depends on my mood. i love my body hair, and i love the way i look with it.
mandatory body shaving is so 20th century. in the 21st century, we accept people as they are. it’s called fashion, gawd.
Frankly I just can’t be bothered to shave my pits more than once or twice a week, even though I prefer to keep them shaved or at least very short for reasons of “body hair tickles and it bugs me and I don’t understand how so many people don’t mind it” (mind it on themselves, I mean, it makes complete sense to not mind what other people do with their bodies that does not force you to feel unpleasant tickling sensations every time you move) but then I do have sensory processing Stuff so. Probably related to that.
I wash more frequently than I shave, and rarely do my pits get smelly unless I spend a few hours doing exercise-like activities in the heat (and then after doing that I wash and change clothes to get rid of the smelly). That is clearly sufficient hygiene as no one has ever complained except like one guy whose entire complaint consisted of “I’m aware that you grow hair in your armpits”. Yeah dude, what, do your armpits NOT grow hair? Surely it’s is a reasonable assumption that at least most if not all adult humans do in fact grow pit hair.
Personally? I and BOTH my Very Male Partners shave under our arms.
Don’t like the look, don’t like the feel, don’t like the weird way deodorant mats it into grossness or keeps it from touching your SKIN where it does its damn JOB. Body hair, to me, is cringe. I’m lucky enough to have found other guys who feel the same and shave just like I do~
I know most people associate LUSH Cosmetics with white girls and bath bombs but products from this beautiful company have faded my scars and stretch marks, completely gotten rid of my acne, fixed my dry skin problems, thickened my eyelashes, laid my edges, made my hair grow like crazy… I can go on and on. I’ve actually never tried the bath bombs, but their skincare and haircare products work magic.
Fading Scars / Stretch Marks Organic Therapy Massage Bar
Extra Dry Skin King of Skin In-Shower Body Conditioner, Skin Drink Facial Moisturizer, Sultana of Soap Bar, Tender is the Night Massage Bar, Each’s a Peach Massage Bar
Acne Fresh Farmacy Solid Cleanser, Eau Roma Toning Water, Full of Grace Serum Bar
Thickening Lashes Eyes Right Mascara / Lash Milk
Edges R&B Hair Moisturizer (if you put this on your edges before wrapping your hair, they’ll be relaxer-straight when you wake up, lasts about 12 hours), Dirty Styling Cream (cream-based edge control with a matte finish, no more shiny or crunchy edges)
Hair Growth NEW! Shampoo Bar, Retread Hair Conditioner
I was asked to list the rest of the products I currently have in my possession, so here y’all go!
FACE / HAIR STUFF
Magical Moringa Facial Moisturizer Oh my lordy. Let me tell y’all about this stuff. It’s marketed as a moisturizer but I use it as a primer because when you put this on your face, it’s completely matte. Like completely. All day. And it will lock your makeup in place like no other. You can sweat in it, swim in it, whatever. Shit won’t budge. Ever.
Jason & the Argan Oil Shampoo Bar Amazing for volumizing. It made the three bundles in my head look more like five when I used this thing the first time, I kid you not. Also gives your hair a really natural shine. I only use it when I really need a volume boost, otherwise it’s just too much.
No Drought Dry Shampoo If you have a weave, you need this stuff. Period. A lot of times, the natural oils in our scalps (referring to my fellow black women here) are too heavy for Brazilian, Peruvian, etc hair, and so it’s easy for weave to get weighed down between washes. Shake this stuff in your hair, brush it out – bam, flow city.
Honey Trap Lip Balm My favorite lip balm, ever. Really improves the texture of your lips and seals in moisture. However, this is not for fixing chapped lips – use Ultrabalm for that first, and then this to prevent them from chapping again. Also, pro-tip, if you apply it before liquid lipstick, your lipstick won’t crease or dry out all day.
MASSAGE BARS
Strawberry Feels Forever Smells like fresh strawberries! Has a much thinner consistency than the other massage bars, so it can be used every day, like a solid lotion.
Soft Coeur Smells like chocolate and honey, and is ridiculously moisturizing. More heavy-duty than the other bars, so I like to only use this one on spots like my knees, heels, and elbows.
From Dusk til Dawn The shape of this one is amazing. It’s shaped like a cone, so it gives a deep massage when you’re using it. Definitely recommend if you have any sort of muscle pain.
SCRUBS
The Rough with the Smooth This stuff smells soooo good. Like cotton candy. I use it before I shave because it really does an amazing job at removing any dead skin and it doesn’t leave a residue, so it won’t clog your razor. However, it’s a sugar scrub, so it melts super quickly.
Ocean Salt This is a heavy-duty scrub. Really amazing if you have dry, flaky skin, and the healing properties of the salt are really great if you have acne. It’ll dry it up and heal it super quick.
Cup o’ Coffee Face & Body Mask I’m on my fourth jar of this already. The coffee beans are ground up just enough to give a deep, yet gentle scrub and the caffeine in the bar really does wake up your skin and make it look brighter. Great for the morning.
Buffy It smells like a vacation, that’s really the only way to describe it. It’s an exfoliant bar and body butter mixed together, so you rub it all over while you’re still in the shower, and then rinse the sand off. After, rub the oils in and pat dry. No need for lotion after because it seals in the moisture from your shower.
SHOWER GELS / JELLIES
Rose Jam Shower Gel Smells like roses and has a really bubbly lather. More cleansing than moisturizing. I like to use it before a more moisturizing soap because it’s great for removing dirt and oil from the skin.
The Olive Branch Shower Gel A long-time favorite of mine. Great for dry skin, as it has a really creamy lather versus a bubbly one. Also, the smell is very calming and lingers for a long time.
Needles & Pines Shower Jelly It’s a solid shower gel (consistency of jello), and it smells like Christmas trees! I like to store it in the fridge and use it when it’s hot outside, super cleansing and refreshing.
SOAPS:
Roses All the Way Personal favorite! Smells like roses & vanilla ice cream. Super moisturizing and so, so creamy. Definitely buy if you suffer from dry skin.
Yog Nog Very moisturizing and the scent lingers for a really long time. Smells like snickerdoodles and eggnog.
Bohemian Not at all creamy, as it’s an exfoliating soap. It’s great to use on dark spots like knees and armpits because the exfoliants soften the skin and the lemon juice evens out your skintone. Smells like lemons.
Karma Another favorite. It has a super thin consistency but is still very moisturizing, so it’s a good shaving soap because it won’t gunk up your razor. Smells like incense and patchouli.
Figs & Leaves Smells like dirt and grass, in a good way. Super cleansing. As in your skin will literally squeak after using it, so I recommend using an in-shower moisturizer like King of Skin after using it.
OTHER:
Atomic Toothy Tabs Solid toothpaste that you crush up in your mouth. It sounds weird but these things are phenomenal. They really leave your teeth squeaky clean, and are the sole reason my teeth are so white – I don’t use any whitening products. This particular kind smells like cloves and cinnamon.
Ultrabalm All Purpose Balm This stuff is amazing. It’s an all-over balm for rough spots. I use it in the winter time on my hands and lips, because they get dry. I also use it year round on my face where I get dry spots, as it doesn’t clog pores.
Silky Underwear Dusting Powder Another holy grail. If you could turn cocoa butter into a powder, this would be it. It’s not drying like baby powder, it’s more silky (it’s also talc-free). I use it between my legs to prevent chafing and under my boobs when it’s hot outside to prevent sweating.
This is actually so helpful because a lot of times I go into lush and I just end up getting pink things and things that smell good because I don’t know what other products are worth purchasing!
TALK TO PEOPLE. okay so I only worked there as a seasonal, but these overly polite, overly talkative salespeople have to do 3 demos an hour! SO if they ask if you want to try something, let them. They know what they’re doing and they will tell you everything you want to know about the product and what it will do for you.
The worst was when I had customers saying that they were just looking because they didnt know a thing about what they were looking at. A lot of the products look identical on the shelves, but they are all specifically tailored for different needs.
Fun facts:
86% of all products are vegan, the rest are vegetarian
everything is ethically sourced, including the charcoal which comes from recycled forest fires
Lush will cut ties with their suppliers if they dont treat their employees nicely enough
Lush saves 10% of their spending budget for emergencies, like when a well broke down in one of their suppliers companies over in Kenya and Lush found out they were lowering women into the well, that money didnt just go to repairing the well, but for getting them a second well as well.
Lush even makes perfume but the scents are about stories instead of smells. There’s a little booklet for each one. My favorites are Dear John (about the owner, Mark, not knowing who his dad was) and Dad’s Lemon Tree (which he made after meeting his dad)
Lush also makes makeup, although they are working on getting more pigments
Lush is 21 years old and in 57 countries!
Charity Pot is a lotion that is low scent as not to mix with your other scents, is a lot of cocoa butter, and 100% goes to grassroots charities, they dont even pay people to make it, that’s how good it is
If you bring in 5 black pots (wash them please, they are dishwasher safe) you can get a free fresh face mask
Lush is the inventor of the bathbomb and most of them have essential oils in them and cocoa butter, so they’re not just fun, but they’re actually really good for your skin
There is a Lush Facebook page but more importantly is that there are local Lush facebooks. You can ask them if something is in stock and they’ll get back to you as quickly as possible (the Alderwood location takes only a few hours)
Anything that looks like a big brick of product is sold by weight. Just ask and they will cut you off a piece to fit your budget
FREE SAMPLES. Feel free to ask. They do NOT want to sell you something that is not right for you
Everything is handmade with commercial kitchen like equipment. This is why things don’t always look the same, because the recipe changes and different people are making it. Leave room for error and basically Guenivere likes adding more pigment than Brendan does but Brendan makes seasonal stuff that’s fantastic. It’s not that it’s gone off or is poorly made. There’s a little sticker that shows you who made it and it also has the expiration date on it
It the ingredient list is both green and black, the green is for natural ingredients and black is for synthetic.
If you go in and they dont have something because it was a seasonal or it’s no longer being made, do not be sad. The same scent may be in another product but more importantly, you can still get it. THE LUSH KITCHEN puts out products that are no longer being made every night at midnight (UK though so time stuff). There’s exclusive merch on there too, including bags and aprons and shirts. Everything goes really really fast though so you have to be ON it.
reblogged to the wrong blog because it took 4 attempts to reblog at all!
this is…nice
My daughter worked at LUSH before college and just seriously…they are an amazing company with highly educated salespeople who want to help you find things that will make you feel, look and smell your best.
great to know about the scarring one because honestly I’m REALLY dysphoric about my hysterectomy scars even though they’re small…
House Of Crows 