people who flaunt their “gayness” or “trans identity” like its some kind of god given gift genuinely scare me
GOOD
That’s the goal, buddy. It’s how we weed out the people that don’t deserve to be in our lives. If it scares you, then BYE 👋🏽
I’m gonna level with you. A lot of it is overcompensation.
But when you face the world being routinely “othered,” facing violence, harassment, and loss of income over an intrinsic part of your identity you cannot change, you either keep quiet for your own safety, succumb to the pressure, or you do everything in your power to act out and accept yourself.
After a lifetime of that pressure, sometimes accepting yourself is performative. “Fake it til you make it.” And yes, sometimes that looks like “flaunting it.” But it is no more nor less performative than any aesthetic choice someone might make. It is no more performative than “gothing out” to go to the grocery. It is no more performative than making oneself as conservative as possible to appeal to a significant other’s family.
It is no less subversive than a Japanese girl dressing in Lolita so as not to appeal to men and as a rebellion against oppressive social mores. It is no less subversive than wlw building gay bars to congregate in safety. It is no less subversive than mlm walking down the sidewalk hand in hand in the middle of the South.
Sometimes, accepting ourselves is as simple as going ahead and buying that binder because we hope it will alleviate our dysphoria. Sometimes, it looks like uploading yet another packer-painting tutorial so someone else can make a cheap dick look more expensive and customized, instead of just a molded lump of plasticine and cyberskin.
Sometimes, it looks like giant parade floats and flags where we scream our Queerness to the world because hell, who else is going to? And sometimes it’s as simple as saying “I’m here, this is me, and I’m not moving.” Most of us? We’re looking for a point in our lives where it’s not the defining feature of our lives and we can be accepted as who we are. I, for one, am definitely looking forward to the day where I’m not “That Pre-Everything Gay Trans Dude” and am, simply and concisely, “that guy.”
But I’ve spent so long being condescended to, berated, belittled, and harassed over my identity that you bet your ASS I’m going to be loud about it where I have the safety and wherewithal to do so. It’s not a gift, it’s a curse… I’m just trying to do my bit so the guy who comes along after me doesn’t feel that way.
House Of Crows 