Shout out to all my straight sisters I’m so sorry 😞
Jesus, leave his ass.
We learn fast to be very kind and attentive, tho.
My mom, who got her degree in Marriage and Family Counseling when she was 60, says studies show that women will sometimes sometimes leave a long term relationship to live on their own for a while before seeking a new relationship, but men will almost never leave a long term relationship without having a new relationship either in progress or just beginning. They don’t want to give up the caretaker they have without another one on deck or in the wings.
This is so sad
This isnt cute or quirky. This means hes a fucking hopeless user
There’s better dudes out there y’all can do better too
Gals your people-picker is just really, REALLY broken. There are adult men out there capable of omg, being an ADULT.
there’s about a 50/50 chance that three or so of them are gonna be In My Inbox within the next two days. They’ll all be on anon of course. I usually delete ‘em when they show up because not worth the time of responding to.
I don’t get them much but the idea they don’t exist confuses me greatly
I’m confused too! That’s why I asked.
Also, please don’t misrepresent me. I didn’t say they don’t exist. I don’t understand how you’re encountering so many of them when I literally cannot find any vegans, nice or not, without specifically seeking them out.
If it’s just a matter of me not being in the right type of lefty enclave, like Fierce said, then I get that.
Here’s an example of the sort of thing I’m talking about
just a few examples of Vegans Being Awful and/or Absurd, most containing snarky responses thereto:
(^ just gonna tear into this last one for a sec… #1 – false, sorry. True for some humans but not all. Ask an actual nutritionist about that if you don’t believe lil ol’ me. #2 – who the fuck said anything about lions like, ever, what the hell is that non-sequitur #3 sure some herbivores have canine teeth but most herbivores have either very small ones or don’t actually have them, they are in fact primarily an adaptation for biting into meat (skipping a few whatever) #6 yeah they aren’t well regulated but that doesn’t mean they’re always false #7 fucking false, dumbass, once again try talking to an actual health professional before you speak from your hiney #8 aaalso false sweet jesus just because some facts are inconvenient to your ideology and superiority complex doesn’t make them untrue #9 great I won’t, you also don’t do that, whoops you’ve already failed right here by claiming several demonstrably false things to be facts #10 sugar’s addictive and so is cocaine, those come from plants what’s your point #11 HAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Ha. *wipes a tear* wtf are you literally doing right now then #15 oh, for literally everyone everywhere? Are you sure? Are you really sure that my pal the disabled single mother of three who has celiac and is also allergic to both soy and corn, whose kids also have significant food allergies (including celiac for two of them) can affordably feed her whole family vegan? Btw that’s not a hypothetical. I actually know this family in real life. Guess what they get food assistance and still struggle to stay adequately fed.)
So, yeah, there they are. I just googled “found the vegan”. Meanwhile these are the meanest examples of someone picking on vegans that wasn’t in direct response to a vegan being absurd first that I found:
wow, yeah, the fed-up people cracking “found the vegan” jokes are SO much worse than the vegans who are throwing fits about every damn little thing anyone ever does that involves eating an animal. </sarcasm>
Can I ask that you take a step back and look at what you’ve actually presented me, here?
There’s this phenomenon that happens online when people don’t like a certain group. They collect samples and screenshots of specific members behaving badly and share them amongst themselves to laugh at and make fun of; someone eventually compiles a list of them, and then when someone asks whats so bad about the group, The List get’s shown off as definitive proof. Like, there’s dozens of examples! That should be convincing to anyone, right?
It happens with every. single. group. Feminists, black people, muslims, redpill/incel, white racists, republicans, democrats, liberals, conservatives, trans people, bronies, anime fans, tumblr users, and so on.
It feels convincing, maybe even overwhelmingly so! It sure felt convincing to me at first. But half these have been copied and pasted so many times they’ve become a blurry mess. When you find yourself looking at a curated list containing a dozen blurry screenshots of bad behaviour, you’re almost certainly looking at something that makes things look worse than they actually are. You’re looking at the situation through a strong filter, wherein the worst examples stick around for years and years, recopied and spread around, the list constantly growing.
Its the kinda thing that’s maybe fun to laugh at, but when it comes to judging the way the world actually is, it needs to be ignored on principle. It’s fundamentally a worthless signal.
can YOU take a step back and understand that people like Leny and I have been dealing with this crap, PERSONALLY, for years and that maybe we’d like it to stop since you know, we can’t change our genetics?
I accidentally deleted the ask, but anon basically said “do you have any more florist anecdotes?” And YOU BET I DO!!
–
So one day this girl walks in, wet rag to her face, and rushes over to me, phone in hand. “HAVE YOU HEARD OF THIS….eey-low veer-uh plant??”
I had. As we’re headed to the succulents, the story comes out. She’s heard that aloe vera is good for soothing pain and….she leans close, super embarrassed, and whispers that she just went and got her mustache waxed off, and….she shows me her lip. Huge, swollen, little red bumps. She’s tried to cover it with makeup, and that’s made it worse. She’s getting teary, because she’s scared, but she’s lucky because she’s talking to me!!
We talk about a lot of stuff, skin care, hair removal, I won’t bore y’all since it’s not flowers, but I was able to give her some advice on it, and I’m thinking “okay she might not need a plant, but whatever” but she’s DETERMINED TO COMPLETE HER MISSION.
We get to the succulents, and I give her my whole aloe vera spiel (I love these plants!! My mom has a huge one that’s almost 25 years old!!) and the girl nods very very seriously, and buys one.
Before she leaves, she comes over to me, dead ass serious and informs me that this plant is her “super buddy” now, and she’s named him Ralph.
–
In my previous post I mentioned a nervous husband with his wife on their first Valentine’s Day. Here’s that story:
So the guy, for a mental image: mid-30s black man, very well dressed in a nice work suit, leather laptop bag. Normally I’m MILDLY wary of v well dressed men, because a lot of them are uh…Difficult.
This wasn’t one of them! He was super nervous, looking through all the mason jar arrangements Very Seriously. He looked super focused and was having trouble picking through them, so I went over to help.
This nice man has four ladies to get flowers for. His wife, and their three daughters. He wanted to get mason jars for the girls (all under ten) and he was hoping to find them in their favorite colors.
I realized what he was doing, which was trying to find jars with predominantly pink, red, and purple themes. And since it wasn’t super busy, I just smiled and told him we could rearrange the jars in the color themes.
He was so BLOWN AWAY. I think he wanted to cry when I busted out the ribbons and made big bows for each jar! (Appropriately colored!!) (also while I was scavenging for flowers, he whipped out his phone and showed me some of their pictures. They’re so cute!! These girls are his princesses, for sure.)
So now His Wife. We were already on a roll, so once his jars were ready we started patrolling for The Perfect Bouquet. And as it happens once you start talking about personal stuff, his story came out!
So the girls are from Wife’s previous marriage. He married her last year, and he really wants to show them that he Really Loves Them. Like, these girls are His GIRLS. His phone still has their entire wedding album!! He shows me her bouquet, and he wants to get flowers that are like the bouquet, but MORE.
So we have the choices down to three big bouquets. He legit stands there for a solid FORTY FIVE MINUTES, just comparing and thinking about it. (I left him to it, obv.)
He then comes up, very serious, and asks what it would cost to combine the two bouquets he’s picked. He’s also picked out a vase and a card, and some chocolate.
I quoted the price (Not Cheap) and he just nods, dead serious, and walks away and pays for it. Like up front. And I’m like, well shit, this needs to be the most amazing thing I’ve done. So I clear the counter, because this is a man on a mission, and we put those flowers together into a MASTERPIECE.
It’s hard to explain size, but these flowers were big enough to hide behind!! I got him a nice box and we carefully packaged this sucker for safe transport in his tiny sports car (the jars for his girls all fit in the drink holders, which was hilarious for reasons I can’t explain. Also hilarious is that he had to manually take the top off of the convertible to fit the flowers and was totally willing to drive home IN THE COLD with it down if he had to, luckily he didn’t)
I sent him on His Odyssey. He was SO HAPPY, and I was so happy because I love good experiences that have triple digit sales, and he was so patient and nice!! Love is real.
(He came back with his friends about three hours later, and they got nice flowers as well! They were all calling me Miss Hexalene by the end, and their good moods infected every other customer in the store, which is the best infection we get in flu season)
–
One of my favorite customers is this nice old lesbian who comes in and has one of our potted orchids in hand, big smirk on her face.
“My wife hates roses, so I’m getting her thi—“ she breaks off and her eyes go HUGE.
So she’s carrying this normal orchid, about a foot and a half tall, purple, v cute. She has just spotted our cymbidium orchids behind me, which GOOGLE THESE PUPPIES!! Ours came in, they’re THREE FEET TALL without the pot. Half of the plant is bloomed into these big beautiful brown/orange flowers, and the other half is still growing. They’re massive and I love them.
So this old lesbian (she’s about 60, cute boycut with all white hair, nice mom jeans and one of those balloony pico shirts) very deliberately sets her Lesser Orchid down, and points to the cymbidium orchids. “THAT. I need that.”
She’s got the absolute best shit-eating grin on her face, btw. She can’t stop laughing. She’s even crying with laughter a bit and while we’re strapping These Beasts (SHE BOUGHT FOUR OF THEM??) into her truck, she tells me about how her wife hates roses because she got a thorn tip stuck in her hand permanently as a kid. So every Valentine’s Day she goes on a hunt for the weirdest flower/most out of season flower she can find. These orchids are the best find she’s had since the 80s, when she brought home a massive Silver Vase Plant that’s still alive 30 years later.
–
So I’m gonna stop with these three before I obliterate everyone’s dashes!! 8) thank you for the ask!!
Please don’t stop these are so wholesome and good
I was in tears at the guy buying flowers for his daughters oh my GOD
either having the mindset of a young child or an adult, no in between
“i thought you were older! you’re so mature!”
being legitimately terrified of small sudden movements and everyone thinks it’s hilarious
immediately losing trust in whoever thinks it’s hilarious
the absolute terror of becoming like your abuser one day
it’s my fault
Constant Vigilance
that self-doubt due to repressed memories
“do i hate them or do i hate myself?”
Guilt™
Vineyard and Wine Bottle paintings have been completed, on to the music scroll. Which, apparently, the Client wants to be peppered with roses and the musical notation from “La Vie En Rose.”
if one more of you motherfuckers tags my post “pro ana” i swear to GODS…. I will block and report every fucking one of your blogs.
Every person has their first memory of an entire species being labelled as unconditional badasses. For some, they were elves. For me, it was badgers.
In Redwall, the word ‘badger’ is roughly synonymous with ‘apocalypse’. Any time a badger showed up in those books, everybody got out the way. If that badger was wearing armor? You knelt. Sure, they’d insist in that smooth grandfatherly baritone that you didn’t need to, but you knelt.
How badass is a badger in the Redwall books? In one book, this one kindly old badger matron who had gone blind from raging too many times peers over the abbey’s walls at the latest vermin army to try and take it, and their captain orders a retreat the second he sees a badger. It took their entire army of seasoned murderers an entire day to work up the courage to issue demands a second time.
And that’s before we say the word ‘Salamandastron’. God, typing that word after so long… I get chills. It was there that the Sword of Martin was reforged into the book-ending weapon that it always remained, made of thunderbolt iron plundered from a fallen star. It was there that the Badger Lords reforged themselves from mere beasts into Beasts. The Fire Mountain, the Fortress Unsiegeable. The Mountain Hall of the Badger Lords.
I say nothing else, save this… Beware the Bloodwrath.
House Of Crows 